4 Killer B Movies For Your Trashy Halloween

Most horror fans agree that recent years have been good to us. From Jordan Peele’s entire filmography to Ti West’s double hitter with X and Pearl, the appetites of every gorehound feel full to bursting. These films “taste” like the richest of chocolate.

But sometimes we don’t want gourmet steak or luxurious lobster. Sometimes, what every horror fan wants is junk food cinema. Pure, unadulterated trash.

And what better genre for it? Horror films have always been a Shangri La of the B movie. Horror hosts proudly introduce schlock for an audience that can’t get enough. Parodies of these grimy little morsels are written and rewritten. Some fans even obsessively wash their favorite little mistakes every year for Halloween.

Nevertheless, if you’re looking for a place to start this underrated tradition, or a B movie veteran who wants to relive some fun times, you’ve come to the right place. In honor of Halloween, here are four B movies for Halloween that will give you the perfect craving for trash.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)

Chances are, even if you’re a “normie,” there are three B movies so infamous that you’ve heard them before. If it’s not Sharknado and if it’s not Plan 9 From Outer Space, then it’s definitely Killer Klowns From Outer Space.

Indeed, our favorite alien clowns are even hitting mainstream popularity! Spirit Halloween boasts a whole host of Killer Klown products on their website. Why, just this year, a Killer Klowns From Outer Space asymmetrical multiplayer video game was announced!

This mainstream popularity, however, exists for a reason. A horror comedy film written, directed, produced, and with special effects by the Chiodo Brothers, many fans consider Killer Klowns From Outer Space the cream of the crop in a very rotten bunch. If you went by premise alone, this reaction seems ridiculous. An entire race of alien clowns invading the planet? Who cocoon their victims in cotton candy for consumption? And this race of aliens just happens to look exactly like Earth’s cultural idea of what a clown is?

Surprisingly, in execution, Killer Klowns From Outer Space stands as a testament to the passion of our genre film directors. The movie is an affectionate parody and love letter to the alien invasion cinema of the 50s, offering an 80s-style remix. The practical effects, including the rubber suits of the clowns and the incredibly unique kills, make for an entertaining watch. Even some of the sets are downright amazing considering the film’s budget of $1.8 million dollars.

If you only have time to pick one film from this list to fit in your Halloween watching, you probably won’t go wrong with Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Prepare for an out of this world experience.

The Deadly Spawn (1983)

Following the success of Ridley Scott’s Alien (1979), several films tried to cash in on the popularity of its premise. John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982), now widely regarded as a classic of the genre, was even considered a shameless rip-off to contemporary critics!

1982’s The Deadly Spawn is just one of several Alien rip-offs. However, out of all of them, this might just be one of the best.

When I first spotted this little gem streaming on Shudder, I have to admit I was pretty skeptical. Its plot, centering around a metamorphizing alien monster that invades Earth, has been done to death. I could recognize none of the actors. Even the film’s streaming quality looks more than a little suspicious.

Nevertheless, an actual viewing delighted me!

For one thing, despite a miniscule budget of $25,000 USD, the practical effects of the Deadly Spawn look wondrous. These alien worms make for some deliciously disgusting little critters. The sound design, while simple in concept, also brings the titular spawn to ghastly life. Every single moment these critters came on screen is a precious miracle of genre goodness.

Well, what about the characters? One of the biggest problems in B movie cinema lies in truly uninteresting and uninspiring human cast members. Therefore, imagine my shock at discovering that The Deadly Spawn actually features pretty good characters. Each and every one of the human in the film either responds realistically to the threat or utilizes clever problem-solving skills that simply aren’t common in horror films. Special mention must go to young monster kid Charles, played by Charles George Hildebrant. He truly plays a relatable and intelligent soul, delivering the rare charismatic child performance.

Out of all the films on this list, The Deadly Spawn remains the most unknown, and that definitely needs to change. If you’re willing to take the risk, catch this baby on Shudder. It deserves to be one of your favorite cult classics.

Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

As every horror fan knows, the first impression of a film cover makes or breaks your decision to pick up a film. Many an old horror lover first found their favorite film by browsing a whole selection of title and picking the cover that first spoke to them.

When looking at Slumber Party Massacre‘s cover, I’m sure many of you will come to similar conclusions. Oh, another B movie. Probably a schlock fest with plenty of fanservice and terribly acted scenes while you inevitably wait for that bloody punchline.

However, Slumber Party Massacre manages to be full of surprises. Oh, there’s plenty of weird dialogue and low-budget inanity. The women in the film are obviously in their early thirties, nowhere near actual high school age. Plus, just how many times must a horror film utilize the escaped mental patient come to strike again?

What makes Slumber Party Massacre work, though, lies in the bold women that shot the film. Directed by Amy Holden Jones and written by lesbian author Rita Mae Brown, Slumber Party Massacre knows what it is, what influences it’s drawing from, and what it wants to talk about. The film succeeds in being goofy fun while also commenting on both the sexist and feminist undertones of the slasher. It all lies in the writing, the overly phallic weapon the killer uses, the killer’s obvious sexual gratification in the slaying of women, and the girls learning to overcome by working together rather than a solo heroine.

Sometimes, covers really deceive you. Slumber Party Massacre carries plenty of cheap thrills, but there’s far more below the surface if you know where to look.

Van Helsing (2004)

Okay, I know what several of you might be thinking. This has to be a cheat, right?

When it first came out in 2004, Van Helsing clearly tried to be a blockbuster hit. The cast even boasted plenty of big names at the time, such as Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, and David Wenham fresh from Lord of the Rings!

However, at its core, Van Helsing works as a B movie. The effects look cheap yet fascinating to look at. The plot, basically working as a very edgy monster mash adapted to the 2000s, is completely bonkers. But the biggest aspect, the greatest cheese factor of the film, lies in the acting. Because ho boy, this cast was having fun, and every moment in the film refuses to let you forget that. Richard Roxburgh as Dracula and Shuler Hensley as Frankenstein’s monster especially chew every bit of scenery they can find. It makes for glorious viewing.

Oh, and by the way, did I mention the climax features a werewolf Van Helsing battling a vicious bat monster gargoyle Dracula? And that it’s gushing with homoerotic scenes between Kate Beckinsale and Dracula’s Brides? Not to mention the gay undertones of Dracula and Van Helsing’s relationship? While also featuring some of the best werewolf designs in cinema?

More than any other B movie out there, Van Helsing makes for perfect Halloween viewing. Don’t let some contemporary views get in your way. Take the time to look this baby up, and try it for yourself. If anything, you might find a new graveyard smash.

All in all, these selections make up a tiny, tiny fraction of all the junk food cinema at your leisure. Now, more than ever before, you as a horror fan have access to all kinds of cheap, unadulterated madness you might not have ever experienced before the internet. Sure, there’s mountains and mountains of excrement should you choose to follow the path of the B movie, but the gems that do exist create one of the most unique experiences you’ll have as a moviegoer. Whatever choice you make, vampire hunter or clown, alien worms or drill slasher, just know you’ve got a long, trashy journey ahead of you. One that you won’t take alone.