Editorial

Valentine's Day In The Tall Grass

The Best Horror Movies For Valentine’s Day You Can Watch Right Now And What To Skip

Love, exciting and new…….Oh, wait that’s a different ’80s series that is being rebooted for horrific movie lovers fun. Whether you are staying in and binging or braving the cold and heading to the theater there are quite a few films out there perfect for that one day when those in love rejoice and those who aren’t, make excuses to spend time with their coupled-up friends. If you are going out, of course, see Bong Joon-ho’s Parasite where gig economy and horror intersect or Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island. If you want to slug around in your sweatpants there are literally hundreds of choices. There are cheesy Valentine’s themed movies, truly scary things designed to bring you closer to the one you lust for, and even some horror romcoms if you can believe it. Here’s our list for what to watch this Valentine’s Day and where to watch them.

My Bloody Valentine(1981)

You can hardly have a Valentine’s Day list and not include this ridiculous slice of ’80s insanity. It’s campy and ridiculous and the killer runs around with a pickaxe. What more could you ask for? This is by no means a cinematic classic but for fans of old school slashers, this is a great example. You can get it on Shudder and Crackle.

Valentine

David Boreanaz is in it. That should be enough for any Angel loving fan. If you need more Denise Richards is also in it doing what she does best and the story is actually pretty good. It gets maligned a lot but if you are looking for something that makes either you or your girlfriend less difficult this is your movie. It’s pretty people getting killed, that’s all you need to know. Get it on Amazon Prime and Vudu.

Honeymoon

If you are looking to break up with your significant other this holiday Honeymoon should help you out with that. Nothing says wedded bliss like body horror. Rose Leslie and Harry Treadaway are excellent and all jokes aside this is a genuinely scary movie. Get it on Shudder and Hulu.

Warm Bodies

Zombie Romcoms aren’t my thing but it’s a cute movie for those who like their horror lite and their zombies lacking any real bite. It’s a good date night movie that is cuter than it should be. You can get it on Amazon Prime or Vudu.

Pontypool

I know this seems like an odd pick but the movie begins on Valentine’s Day. This is one of the truly scary films on the list and a must-watch for fans of thoughtful horror. If you are dating a horror lover this is a no brainer for the candy-coated holiday. Watch it on iTunes.

Picnic At Hanging Rock

Director Peter Weir before Dead Poet’s Society and The Truman Show delivers a mysterious and haunting example of weird Australian folklore. If you like your horror with a massive side of ambiguous WTF moments this gem from the ’70s fits the bill. Get it on Vudu.

Rosemary’s Baby

If you are looking for some birth control on this romantic night, here’s a devil baby for you. Easily one of the most recognizable horror films of all time it is perfectly paced and crafted. It is suspense-filled and well-acted. Be careful who you have babies with ladies. Watch it on Netflix.

Crimson Peak

Young brides, bitchy inlaws, and decrepit but gorgeous houses are seldom good combinations. In Guillermo del Toro’s unforgettably creepy film. Everyone’s favorite on again off again Avenger Loki Tom Hiddleston plays one half of the ill-fated marriage. It gothic haunted horror with the type of visuals del Toro is known for. Get it on Apple TV and Amazon Prime.

What Lies Beneath

This ghost story with Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer is an excellent example of the crazy lady trope. This is one twisty turny horror film that has very little gore so it is usually liked by eb=ven the biggest weenies. Stream it on Netflix.

Spring

Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are two filmmakers to watch. The Endless is a masterpiece and their upcoming film Synchronic is a time-traveling drug-fueled trip to Hell. Spring is easily the most visually stunning and Lovecraftian in the library. The leads are great and the special effects are well done. It is the rare blend of horror and romance that doesn’t end up being schlocky. Watch it on Shudder or Tubi.

It Follows

A really interesting twist on the don’t have sex during a horror movie trope, It Follows is creative and original. It will also make you think twice about who you are thinking about hooking up with. This is the kind of movie you love to think about for days after. It is a personal favorite and on top of many of my best-of lists. Watch it on Netflix.

Videodrome

In David Cronenberg’s classic body-horror film the protagonist falls in love with his television(sort of). That’s not exactly what happens but if you plan on spending the evening alone binging this film should not be on your list. It will lead you to some dark places. Stream it on Amazon Prime and Vudu.

Candyman

As far as urban horror goes this is the one all others are measured against. It is bone-chillingly scary, star-making, and enduring. The tragic love story at the core of this legend is a star crossed as it gets. If you think your parents hate your partner you’ve got nothing on this story. Watch it on Netflix.

May

So delightfully bizarre May is love really, really twisted. Angela Bettis and Jeremy Sisto are amazing and if you think your date partner is weird this will cure that. Anna Faris adds another layer of kookiness to this overstuffed film. It wacky and wild but oddly fun. Get it on Tubi.

In The Tall Grass

Netflix’s answer to cosmic weirdness is trippy for sure but the film version as opposed to the short story by Joe Hill and Stephen King has a romantic ending. In The Tall Grass is a great one for Netflix and chill night. If you need an explanation of the ending click here.

Hellraiser Franchise

Any of these movies will do because really you are watching them for ideas if you and your significant other are into………..more adventurous activities. The first is the best but the third spends a great deal of time in the realm of the Cenobites that if your into bondage that is the one to watch. Watch them on Shudder.

The Corpse Bride

If your date really despises all things scary but you are trying to “frog in the pot” them into horror this is a good place to start on Valentine’s Day. Tim Burton’s stop-animation haunted love story is beautiful and romantic. Watch it on Hulu.

Teeth

Hale Appleman, Eliot from The Magicians gets his penis bit off when he tries to rape our protagonist Dawn(Jess Weixler) in this fiercely feminist horror film. If you are alone for Valentine’s Day or with someone that you need to lay down some ground rules Teeth is ideal. Watch it on HBO Go or Vudu.

Shaun Of The Dead

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s love letter to zombie horror is a brilliant example of the subgenre. More bromance than romance Shaun Of The Dead is as good as it gets. It is whip-smart and gory enough for hardcore horror fans. It is that rare mix of funny and gruesome where everyone is happy. Watch it on STARZ and Vudu.

Dogs Don’t Wear Pants

This psycho-sexual story absolutely should not be watched with a first date. This one is better saved for those with very steady long term relationships. It is shocking and sexy(if you are into that kind of thing) and will make you think about all the ways grief shapes us. It’s a one of a kind film you won’t find anywhere but Shudder.

The Shape Of Water

Another great from Guillermo del Toro is all about love. The love of a monster for their human. It won an Oscar because it is the acting is exceptional and the effects are to die for. The Shape of Water is the type of film nonhorror fans will like so it’s perfect for those who rebel against your inner blood hound.

What To Skip On Valentine’s Day:

Some of these films are terrible and others are just way too much for Valentine’s Day even if you are a horror fan. There are just some places you shouldn’t go on this pink-hued, rose-scented holiday.

  • My Blood Valentine Day 3D
  • My Boyfriend’s Back
  • Hospital Massacre
  • Audition
  • The Loved Ones
  • Antichrist
  • Lover’s Lane
  • Zombie Honeymoon

That should keep everyone busy for quite some time regardless of your romantic situation this weekend. Valentine’s Day isn’t just for lovers, it’s also for the lovers of horror so get busy watching. If a night of horror trivia is more your thing join us at The Big Rip for Deep Cuts Trivia: Amblin Pictures Kids On Bikes Addition Saturday, February 15th, 2020. If you are looking for something different check out all our Best Horror on Tubi, Shudder, and other subgenre lists.

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